Let’s start with the saltwater lap pool, and the heated elevator that takes you straight to it: dim the lights, plug your iPod into the dock and swim across it’s tromp l’oeil mosaic floor. The pale Italian marble throughout the spa has an immediately calming effect, allowing you to acclimatise before your treatment.

A host of massages, wraps and Valmont-range facials are on offer, with specific treats tailored for men.